Lately i've been so free that i've been thinking about the last person to have my heart. Its hard to think about him the way things use to be between me and him it seems kind of foolish to even think that we were going to be together forever it seemed like to me. Yet he left me to go do his duty to this country and he just seems different to me somehow. He was suppose to come visit me during christmas but yet he tells that we can't hang out now because he's not sure how i'll react. when he told me that i automataclly knew he was bring some other girl with him. Doesn't make sense to me, he planned it himself that we were suppose to hang out when he came back for chirstmas break he even told me he missed me but yet he doesn't love me anymore i know that was bound to happen because we're so far away from each other---corbin was here---but yet idk i just want to punch him because he promised me he'd hang out idk how to express the way i feel about that whole situation but he's the only one i truely loved and i know it won't be easy to let him go but i'm trying so hard to move on and find someone else, but the thing is i haven't looked at anyone like that since he left me. It just seems pointless to me to find someone and me knowing i don't care for him or her the way i use to for that one i lost a long time ago. I try so hard to look but it just doesn't seem safe for me right now i know that in the end i'd hurt the next person who comes into my life, i want someone so badly though i just seem so alone and lost i know i can find my way if i try hard enough but i'm the type of person who would like someone to talk to, to love, to hold, to touch. I want to have someone who i call because they're the last voice i want hear and i call them frist thing in the morning because he's the one i want to hear when i wake up. I just seem like i'm wasting my days not having a life i need some adventure in my life.